Physical boundaries have to do with space. And in common speech we talk of others invading our space when they cross these boundaries.
With respect to the body...boundary
violations would not only include touching
does not want to be touched...but it also includes getting too
physically close to someone when interacting with them...
getting "in someone's face" so to speak.
People who go through your things at home or at work violate your physical boundaries.
Did you know that the Founders of the American Republic thought that personal physical boundaries were so necessary to the pursuit of happiness...that they they enshrined them in the Fourth Amendment to the American Constitution. Here's what they said...
The right of the people to be secure
in their...persons...houses...papers...and effects...
shall not be violated...
And its the same in interpersonal relations. When someone violates these boundaries...we are pretty deeply offended. And sometimes scarded as in a stalking situation.
Those who have complained about inappropriate touch from ministers have shown how costly such boundary violations can be. The cost includes loss of ministry and loss of billions of dollars in reparation.
Time boundaries...can be violated by members of a congregation with ministers who do not have personal boundaries to control demands on their time with time organizer techniques.
Almost all cases of burnout in ministry come from mismanagement of time.
Many ministers think a "Do Not Disturb" sign on their door is positively un-Christian. The same ministers don't know how to send someone on their way who is overstaying the purpose of their visit. The use of embedded commands is a great way to end a meeting.
And you can agree or not agree to let others cross your physical boundaries.
However...some people encourage others to violate their personal boundaries as Marnie did with Nick in an abuse and codependency relationship. Or like others do with professional boundaries email violations.
If someone touches you without your consent...or if you agree to the touch under duress...meaning that you didn't want the touch...then your personal boundaries have been violated.
Ministers are great huggers and engage often in non-ritual and non-liturgical touching thinking it is an important part of their ministry. And most mean well.
However...they show little understanding of two important matters...
Social boundaries...are taught from childhood...how to act and what to say in the social situations that occur in our lives. How to behave in church...in a theatre...in someone's house. How to greet others...and take our leave from them...and so forth.s
Social boundaries no longer require people to be face-to-face do they?With the internet and all kinds of social sites, personal contact takes place in many ways. And this can create important boundary problems for ministers.
Psychological boundaries...are a complex area...especially in thinking and beliefs.
And it is quite possible to develop thinking disorders...based on erroneous beliefs...that lead to poor judgment...and boundary violations...in ministry.
For more information on these subtle thinking disorders...or thought viruses...you can go from personal boundaries to thought viruses and download a FREE ebook about them.
Or you can...