Through Gods Eyes Only

by Maria Gonzalez
(NY)

I was a victim at age 5 and my mom did not believe me. Then at age 19 before I had my child I spoke to my mom again about the abuse by my stepfather. Mom was still in denial.

Now I am 40 yrs old still not marry because I cant commit to a real relationship. The pain is still in my heart and I ask God to heal me. A youth minister in my church is doing time for molesting a child who my daughter was close with. I am wondering if my daughter was a victim too. As I speak to her she keeps defending the minister and it gets me angry.

Then I ask the minister about his feelings for my daughter he says she my friend. A mother knows when something was escalated. I pray for all the girls who were victims.
The youth minister always have desires for young girls as I observe him daily. Everyone has desires for the opposite sex and deep inside want to love or control people. I pray that all parties involve get help especially the minors in this case. I know that God is still healing my pain and oneday I will get marry.

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Ministers and friendships with children
by: Admin

Thanks for sharing your story.

If a minister says he is your daughter's "friend", then the minister is already violating generational boundaries.

Adults should not have children who are "friends" because friends are equals. Adults and children are not equals before God, before the law, or before society.

Ministers are not sent to befriend children, but to look after the maturation of their spiritual growth as they move from one stage of development to the next.

Ministers who need children as friends need help.

The minister/child friendship scenario without proper generational boundaries is common among predatory ministers.

Every parent should be wary of such friendships and monitor the minister's actions with their child closely.

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More on Minister Friendships
by: Anonymous

I was just thinking - a huge boundary violation is a priest with Facebook or Myspace having parishioners as "friends" on a personal page that he would have real friends and family on.

A friend of mine was having a problem with this so
I told him to have a "professional" page that would reflect his role as a priest.

He could also have a personal one - which can be set up for extreme privacy (for the the nonhacker anyway) for his family and close friends.

If a parishioner made a friend invitation to the private page, he could direct the person to the professional page.

Fr. Jack


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