Why I Was "Spiritually Adopted" by a Christian Male Therapist.

by Brian

All I can say is, "This is amazing." I have just finished writing a book entitled "Why I Slept With My Male Therapist, How One Gay Man Tried to Go

I was spell-checking and wasn't confident of the word "reparent" which brought me to your website.

My story is that of being "spiritually adopted" by a Christian male therapist whose purpose was to strong>reparent me so that I might become heterosexual.

The ending of the story is that I did not become heterosexual and he lost his license over the vagrant trampling of traditional therapeutic boundaries.

I would really like to talk to someone about how I might publish my story in a way that can inform counseling programs across the country in maintaining proper protocol and boundaries.

I have considered asking this man to co-author a book with me in which on one side of the book he tells his story of how we met, how he took me on as a client, how he chose to spiritually adopt" me and ultimately how his own sexual and emotional issues clouded his judgment so he eventually was forced to relinquish his license.

I have no desire to embarrass or harm him in any way.

But, I don't think such a book has ever been written and I think it would be a tremendous wake-up call to all MFT and MS Social Work programs across the country.

Throughout, I use my own name and intend to publish using my real name. Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?

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May 28, 2011
Sexual agenda under the guise of reparenting.
by: Admin

Hi Brian,

Good post for several reasons...

First, you pinpoint exactly how a person can tell if reparenting is being used inappropriately ...it is ainappropriate when it contains a contradiction.

In your case the contradiction is obvious... a counselor does not help a gay man become heterosexual by sleeping with him. It doesn't matter whether one is a male or a female counselor...gay or straight.

One might think a woman counselor could make such a mistake if she were not properly trained. But for a male counselor to think he can induce a heterosexual personality change by means of homosexual behavior is, to put it mildly, is pretty naive.

Predictably, that reparenting strategy did not work.

Sexuality is a matter that involves many parts of the personality, not just genital behavior. A well-trained counselor knows this.

Secondly, you are not interested in revenge. The counselor has paid a significant price that affects his livlihood, the loss of his license.

Thirdly, you want to take your experience, and hopefully his experience, and pass on to others what you have both learned from the experience.

I hope others will add their experiences to yours and see what good can come out of such boundary violations.

The reparenting technique is too often misused and, in our opinion, should be avoided by ministers because they can easily manipulate their client's trust, to everyone's detriment, as your example demonstrates.

Blessings on you and your project.


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